


Crash into You

by jeeno2



Series: Rebelcaptain Stories [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Babies, Childbirth, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Content, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeeno2/pseuds/jeeno2
Summary: Or, five times Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso shared a bed and one time they didn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still in the process of working through all my Rogue One feels. ;)

Cassian is no stranger to the sound of people screaming.

The screams that tore his village apart at the end still haunt his dreams, even after all this time.  The women; the other children; and the terrified noises they made as they died have jolted him from a sound sleep more times than he can count.

(To say nothing, of course, of the screams he hears now on a nearly daily basis, whenever his blaster grants him another small victory against the Empire.)

But nothing he has ever experienced could have prepared him for the sound of Jyn Erso screaming from within the relatively safe confines of her small room aboard Rebel One.  Nor for the wave of icy terror that pierces his heart when he hears it.

Because she’s brave, this girl.  More than brave.  She’s been with them less than a month but already Cassian knows she’s more fearless, and stronger, than just about anyone he’s ever known.  She risked her life without batting an eye so she run to go her father and hold him as he lay dying.  She stood her ground defiantly as Krennic held a blaster to her head, refusing to back down because she knew the Alliance depended on her to transmit the Death Star plans.   

If Jyn didn’t scream then, Cassian can’t begin to imagine what she’s seeing in her dreams now that’s got her so terrified.

It’s that thought that, in the end, propels him from his bunk to her bedroom door in seconds.

 

oOoOoOoOo 

 

When he gets there, Jyn’s screams are even louder, less than an inch of thin wooden door all that separates her from him.  The terror in her voice is unmistakable.  Cassian flexes his right hand against his thigh in a moment of panicked indecision as he wages an unfamiliar internal war, telling himself that propriety doesn’t mean one goddamn thing in moments like these, while at the same time reminding himself that he has no right to enter her bedroom like this, ever.

But then he hears his name, clear as a bell amidst the rest of her shouting, and suddenly he’s flinging her door open so hard it bangs against the inside wall.

“Cassian –” she cries out again, thrashing her head from side to side on her pillow, her hands scrabbling for purchase in the empty air above her bunk.  “Please, don’t let them…”

He’s at her side in two long strides.  He crouches down next to her bunk and, with less than a second wasted in indecision, reaches out to gently touch her cheek.

Her skin is warm, and it’s soft.  The feel of it beneath his calloused fingertips floods his whole body with a strange, unexpected warmth.

“Shhh,” he whispers, trying to soothe her without waking her up.  He shakes her gently by the shoulder.  “Jyn.  Jyn.  You’re dreaming.  Everything’s fine.  You’re safe, everyone is safe.”

Her eyes – small, blue-grey pools in the dim light of her bunk – slowly blink open at the sound of his voice.  It takes another long moment for recognition to dawn and for her nightmare, whatever it was, to fade away.

When Jyn comes to full consciousness it’s very obvious.  She blinks at him twice in rapid succession and exhales a long, shuddering sigh.  

“Cassian,” she says, sounding a little confused, and more than a little surprised, as though she is only now seeing him properly for the first time.  She bites her lip and trails off, closing her eyes.

“’s all right, Jyn.  It was just a bad dream.”  His fingers resume their gentle stroking motions along her cheekbone.  Before he fully realizes what he’s doing his hand ghosts down along the side of her face, down her neck, to the collar of her thin cotton nightshirt.  He hopes his voice isn’t shaking too badly.  He hopes his words and the sound of his voice and his gentle touches reassure her.  

With a raw desperation he neither expects nor understands he silently begs her to understand, to  _know_ , that with him, she will always be safe.  Always.  

“I dreamed that you fell,” she whispers.  “When we were at Scarif.”  She provides no further clarification.  But she doesn’t need to.

He swallows hard.  “Yeah.  I suppose I did fall,” he says, nodding.  He still has nightmares about that too.  "But I'm all right now, aren't I."

She shakes her head.  “No.  No.  I mean, yes, I know you fell.  That wasn’t what was so terrible, Cassian.  In my dream, you fell but -- you never got back up.”  She looks at him, then, her eyes wide, terrified, and glassy with unshed tears.

Stunned by this admission -- by the fact that a dream of his death would affect her like this -- and completely uncertain what to say next, Cassian takes her into his arms and tries to give her a comforting hug.  Jyn buries her face into his neck and breathes deeply, letting her tears fall silently against his shirt.  

 

oOoOoOoOo 

                                                                                                             

Later, Cassian cannot remember whose idea it had been for him to spend the rest of the night with her in her room, his body curled up around hers protectively in her narrow bed.  

All he knows is that for reasons that escape him, Jyn finds his presence comforting.  Less than five minutes after he’s joined her underneath her thin blanket her breathing evens out and she’s asleep.

Jyn spends the rest of the night in peaceful slumber.  Cassian, however, does not.  

He couldn’t sleep if he tried.  

He spends the overnight hours wide awake.  He is lost -- completely, utterly lost -- in a confusing tangle of thoughts and feelings as he stands watch over his sleeping compatriot and friend, the ends of her hair tickling his cheeks. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Erso,” Bodhi says insistently, his back to the closed door of the ship’s makeshift hospital ward.  He holds his palms up and towards her in an obvious attempt to calm her down. It doesn’t work.  “He’s going to be fine. The blaster only grazed his side.”

“Then let me in,” she grits out, glaring at him. “If he’s gonna be fine why can’t I go in and see him?”

Bodhi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.  He’s clearly frustrated with her, and just as worried as she is about Cassian. Jyn doesn’t care. “You can’t go in because what he needs right now more than anything is rest. The more rest he gets now, the faster he’ll be back on his feet.”

But Jyn’s heard enough. She shoves Rook away from the closed door to the hospital ward like he weighs nothing at all, ignoring his shout of protest.  And she throws the door open like she’s wanted to do ever since they learned Cassian was shot by a vagrant while on patrol.

 

oOoOoOoOo 

 

When she does finally see him lying there in the ward’s single narrow cot, sleeping and motionless beneath the thin blanket, she just stands there, rooted to the spot in the doorway, blinking in stunned silence.

Cassian looks pale. Far too pale. And weak. The bandages covering his chest indicate that whatever his prognosis his injuries probably cost him a fair amount of blood.

She should have expected as much, of course. Even a light flesh wound from a blaster can knock a man out for a few days. But his chest is rising and falling evenly on deep, steady breaths.  Which means he is very much alive, and will, in fact, likely be perfectly fine soon enough. Just as Bodhi insisted, and to her immense relief.

For reasons Jyn doesn’t quite understand she can’t seem to stop staring at him.  Staring at someone who’s sleeping and who can’t tell her to knock it off is probably pretty rude. But right now she can’t be bothered to care. She needs to make sense of what happened today, somehow. And that’s not going to happen until Cassian wakes up and answers the millions of questions running through her head.

She sits down gingerly on his cot and closes her eyes.

Cassian told her, back when they first met, that he’d never leave her. Or at least he told her, with a sly nod, that she’d finally come home.  While Jyn knows better than anyone that those aren’t the sorts of promises anyone can be expected to keep she’s held him to them all the same.  

Jyn wants to believe Bodhi.  She needs to believe Cassian will come out of this.  But if they’re both wrong about his chances, and he dies here…

She shakes her head in exasperation.  Cassian never told her he had a knack for finding trouble back when she joined this group, but she’s certainly figured it out by now.  

“Stupid man,” she mutters under her breath.  Even if he doesn’t die today he will be the end of her someday.  Of this she has no doubt.

Before she can talk herself out of doing it Jyn slowly, gently takes the unconscious man’s hand in her own.  She gently knots her fingers through his until they’re properly intertwined, the way they were back in that cramped little elevator on Scarif and on that horrible beach as they waited for rescue.

Cassian’s hand is bigger than hers. His fingers are longer, and quite a bit leaner. But their hands fit together like corresponding pieces to a puzzle all the same, and the feel of his calloused palm against hers is at once completely new yet utterly, achingly familiar.  

With her free hand, Jyn reaches across and slowly, gently brushes the lock of hair that’s fallen into his eyes off his forehead.  At her touch, Cassian opens his mouth on a sleepy sigh.

He blinks.

“Jyn,” he says, his voice very hoarse.  His eyes crack open into slits. 

 _He’s awake_ , Jyn realizes with a start.  

Cassian smiles at her, or tries to, before the smile falters and he sinks back into unconsciousness. But the sound of her name on his lips causes her heart to stutter in her chest in a way that both thrills and confuses her.

It’ll be morning soon. The weak rays of light that are beginning to stream in through the ship’s small window are the unmistakable first signs of dawn on this strange planet. Telling herself she’s only doing it because she’s worried for him, Jyn lies down beside him, preparing to watch vigil over him in case he wakes up again. But once she’s properly lying down next to him she impulsively wraps her arms around him anyway, marveling at just how very  _right_  this beautiful, brave man feels in her arms.

“Please come back to me,” she whispers, pleadingly, though he’s asleep again and she knows he cannot hear her. She smiles a little, before pressing a gentle, hesitant kiss to the corner of his mouth. It’s been several days since he last shaved, and the warm rough rasp of his stubble against her lips as they touch him is delightful and unexpected.  The confusing swirl of emotions this stirs up makes her warm, and dizzy, and very grateful she’s already lying down.

Her heart hammering in her chest and her stomach in knots, Jyn closes her eyes, waiting for sleep to take her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy almost-New Year! Have some more bedsharing. ;)

Cassian is waiting impatiently on his cell’s single cot, contemplating the various cuts and scrapes on his arms and legs, when the door to the cell is thrown open with so much force it bangs loudly against the opposite wall.

“Watch it, asshole!” Jyn shouts at the irritable droid serving as their jailor.  It tosses her in the cell without ceremony, huffing in annoyance before slamming the door shut behind it.

Cassian has seen a lot of strange things in his lifetime.  But never – until now, that is – has he ever been to a planet where the public display of blasters is considered a criminal offense.

“It’s just for one night,” he tells Jyn in a voice he hopes isn’t shaking too badly.  "I’m sorry. When the Alliance sent us here I had no idea the Baharinians were… um, so against advanced weaponry.  I swear, if I’d had any idea…”  He shakes his head and trails off.  “Anyway, it’ll be all right.  I got out a message to Bodhi. He’s coming first thing tomorrow to bail us out of here.”

“Yeah. Not a big deal,” Jyn agrees as she shrugs out of her jacket.  She turns her back on him and has a proper look at their surroundings for the first time. She takes in the drab walls and the floor that seems stained with something Cassian would rather not inspect too closely.  She glances at the meager shelf in the corner where they’ll store the few things they were allowed to keep after they were arrested.

Only when Jyn has looked at everything else in the cell do her eyes finally land on the single long, narrow cot where he’s sitting.  Her cheeks flush slightly, and then she looks up at him through her lashes, making Cassian’s heart start racing like he’s just run a mile.

It’s not that they’ve never slept near each other before.  Because they have.  They definitely have.  

Well.  They have a few times, anyway.

But never once has he slept with Jyn in a bed this narrow in a situation where neither one of them was either having a terrible nightmare or near death.  The thought that he might be lying prone, next to Jyn, all night long, on a mattress barely wide enough to accommodate even one of them, much less the two of them, makes his heart race even faster and his palms sweat.

It’s getting late, though.  Their jailor questioned them for hours before throwing them in here and he’s exhausted.  If the dark rings under her eyes are any indication so is Jyn.  As much as he’d like to, they just can’t put off the inevitable much longer.

“Look,” he eventually says.  He wipes his hands on his pants, willing his voice to stay neutral, forcing his breathing to stay even and slow. "That spot of floor over there, where you’re standing?  It looks like it, you know — might be all right to sleep on. So I’ll just sleep on the floor tonight, and you can have the… um…“

The look Jyn gives him at his suggestion cuts off his babble more effectively than any shot from a blaster ever could.

“No,” she tells him.  Her voice sounds strange.  The flush on her cheeks deepens, spreading a little down her neck and then down, down, down, until the edge of it disappears beneath the low-cut v-neck of her top.  Cassian’s eyes follow the direction of her blush before he can stop himself.  His mouth goes dry.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” he asks, even though he knows perfectly well what the word means.  He shakes his head in an attempt to clear it.  It doesn’t seem to work.  

“You can’t sleep on this disgusting floor.”  Her eyes flit away from his, and she starts picking at her cuticles.  He wonders if she’s even half as nervous right now as he is.  He doesn’t think it’s possible.   _How the_ hell _does this prison not have more than one cell_?  "It’s just one night, like you said.  We’ll… you know.  We’ll just share.”  

Without another word Jyn turns her back on him.  She quickly unlaces her boots and peels off her work pants, sooty with sweat and travel dust.  He tries not to stare at her strong, shapely legs, bare to his eyes for the first time, but mostly fails. 

Still not looking at him, Jyn pulls down the threadbare blanket covering their cot.  Clad only in her underwear and her thin white cotton top she shimmies her way underneath it and pulls it up to her chin.

She looks up at him again, then, biting her lip.  Her eyes are half-closed and filled with… with _something_  Cassian can’t quite identify.  His hands clench involuntarily into fists at his sides as he tries to remember how to breathe.

When he continues to just sit there next to her, unmoving, Jyn rolls her eyes.  "Cassian, you are not sleeping on that disgusting floor. People have probably been pissing on it for twenty years. You’re going to sleep here.  Next to me.  In this bed.” 

She reaches for him, then, pulling back the blanket.  She pats what she apparently intends to be his side of the bed, giving him a small, timid smile.

Slowly, as if in a dream, and ignoring the screaming voice inside his head telling him this is absolutely _not_ how people assigned to the same base are supposed to behave around one another,Cassian pulls off his own jacket with shaking hands.  Kicks off his own boots.  And then lies down beside her, arms ramrod straight at his sides.

She lets out a small, nervous giggle.  “You sleep in your pants, Andor?”

“Tonight I do.”

That earns him more laughter. “Ah,” she says. Jyn pulls the blankets up over them both in one swift movement.  “It’s cold in this cell,” she says by way of explanation.  But it’s not cold at all.  The warmth of her body is rolling off her in waves, and Cassian is reeling at her proximity, at the press of her soft, beautiful curves up against his wiry frame.  He feels wild, a little drunk, and burning hot, and not in full control of any of his faculties. 

“You’re right,” he tells her, his heart hammering in his ears.  “That floor really is disgusting.  I… uh.  Better not risk it, sleeping down there.” His distantly registers that his voice is shaking but he’s too far gone to care.  

“Of course I’m right,” she says.  “I usually am.”  She wastes no time at all, snuggling closer to him as he reflexively wraps his arms around her.  She presses a gentle, lingering kiss to the sensitive spot where his neck and shoulder meet.  His eyes slip closed of their own accord.

She hums her contentment against him and sighs.

Cassian might be fully clothed, but Jyn isn’t.  And there’s nothing Cassian can do to put that fact out of mind.  It isn’t long before the feel of her bare legs, of her soft, lovely curves, pressed up against him, causes his body to react in ways he is powerless to prevent.  He can feel himself getting hard from within the confines of his boxers, and he shifts a little on the cot, hoping and praying to any gods who might be listening that she won’t notice.

If she does, she doesn’t let on.  She only tightens her hold on him, burrowing into him a bit more as she slowly drifts off into sleep. 

Cassian lies awake for quite a while after that, wondering both how the hell he’s going to survive this night -- and also, in spite of himself, just what Jyn would do if he were to roll her onto her back, right now, and kiss her properly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than the others. Smut takes more words, I suppose. ;) Also, I should add an angst warning here. But not to worry -- my promise in the tags that everyone lives and nobody dies remains intact.

The night before Cassian has to leave for Hoth he drinks his dinner. 

The food the team prepared in honor of his departure is tasty enough, and he appreciates the kind gesture.  But their food supply is running low, and Cassian sees no point in wasting any of it on someone who may very well soon be a dead man.

There’s no shortage of wine, though, so he decides to drink his fill.  He’s always liked wine, and god only knows when he’ll have another chance to have it.  A surprisingly small amount of it makes him feel very warm and not a little dizzy– most likely because it’s been years since he’s had any.

Tonight, he’s grateful for the feeling.

He stands apart from the others as he drinks.  He watches his friends and fellow soldiers and wonders if they know, as he does, that his mission -- straight from Rebel headquarters -- to assess what’s left of Hoth’s rebel base is tantamount to suicide.

He’s so focused on his misery and on his wine that he doesn’t even notice Jyn’s approach until she’s right in front of him.

“I wanted to say goodbye,” she says abruptly.  His eyes snap to hers in surprise.  Her hair is down, for once, hanging loose about her shoulders.  Cassian isn’t used to seeing her with her hair down.  He doesn’t think he’d ever tire of seeing her with her hair like this, but he won’t have the chance to test that theory.

He takes another swallow of wine and steels his nerves.

“Goodbye, Erso,” he tells her, trying to throw up a wall between them before he leaves.  The look on her face tells him he’s failed. 

“Don’t you dare,” Jyn warns him.  Her voice is shaking.  “Don’t call me that.  Not tonight.”

She places her hand on his arm.  The heat of it burns through the fabric of his shirt like the fire that forged their weapons.  He bites the inside of his cheek to keep from whimpering at her touch.

“I’m not _Erso_ to you,” she continues.  She doesn’t pull her hand away.  She begins caressing his arm from wrist to elbow, very slowly, tracing patterns on his sleeve with her fingertips. 

She steps closer to him, her body now mere inches from his.  She’s radiating a dizzying heat that has nothing to do with the wine in his blood.  He suddenly feels like his knees might buckle under him.  “I’ve never been _Erso_ to you.”

Without another word, Jyn grabs the wine from his hand and downs what’s left of it in one gulp.  His eyes widen, stunned.

“Tell me goodbye again if you have to, but use my first name,” she instructs.  “Please, Cassian.  I want to hear you say it.  Just… just one last time.”

He looks into her eyes. He swallows thickly.

Calling her _Jyn_ – admitting to her that she’s right, that she’s never been just another soldier to him – will likely break him later, when he’s all alone on this fool mission.       

But she wants him to say it.  And if he knows anything, it’s that he’ll never be able to deny Jyn Erso anything she wants.

“Goodbye, Jyn,” he tells her quietly, pouring everything he’s ever felt for this infuriating, incredible woman into that single syllable.

She closes her eyes at the sound of her name.  She leans forward, resting her head against his chest. He doesn’t know why he does it – reflex, perhaps; or perhaps it’s some combination of the wine and his burning desire for the woman in front of him – but he pulls her close and wraps his arms tightly around her.

“I’m never going to see you again,” she says flatly, into his chest.  It isn’t a question.  He can feel the warmth of her breath through his shirt, and he shivers.  She looks up at him, her chin pressed to his body, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. 

Jyn Erso so rarely cries.  Words fail him at the sight of it now.

But he won’t lie to her.  His new crew will likely take a good dent out of the Empire’s forces, to be sure. But in the end, there are only twenty Rebel fighters assigned to it, and they’ll be up against a fleet of god only knows how many Imperial ships, patrolling Hoth's surface and just waiting for the Rebellion to show up to count their losses. 

“No,” he confirms when he finds his voice. “You won’t.”

Her expression turns steely, then.  Determined.  Fierce. 

“Then let me give you something to remember me by.”

She stretches up on tiptoes and presses a kiss to his mouth at the same time she reaches down between their bodies and cups him gently in her hand.  He grunts against her lips – in surprise, mostly; but also in pleasure.  Satisfied with his response she begins to stroke him through his jeans.

His body’s reaction is immediate and explosive. 

“Jyn…” he chokes out, shocked at her boldness but unable to move away.  He buries his face in her neck as she touches him, every nerve ending in his body centered in the spot where her hand is moving.

“Don’t push me away tonight,” she tells him as she continues to stroke him.  He’s hard as a rock already, his entire body awash in sensation, and it takes every ounce of his willpower not to start thrusting into her hand, right here, in front of everyone.  He can feel her smile against his shoulder, as though she knows. 

Without stopping her ministrations she pulls his head up with her free hand and tugs him down into a deep, passionate kiss.  Their first since the elevator on Scarif.  He goes along with it willingly.  He wouldn’t have the strength to fight it if he tried.

At length, she pushes him back against the wall to steady them as she continues to kiss and caress him.  His arms tighten around her small body as she traces his bottom lip with her tongue and then sucks it gently into her mouth.  To his relief and frustration, she takes her hand away from his length and winds both of her arms around his neck, pulling his face even closer to her as she deepens the kiss. 

As he kisses her back, his hands begin to roam her body of their own accord – down and along her spine, her backside, her thighs.  He pulls her hips flush against his, unable to help himself, suddenly craving as much physical contact with her as possible while it _is_ still possible.  She whimpers against his lips, the sound of her pleasure nearly breaking him.

She pulls away eventually, gasping for breath, her hair disheveled from his roaming hands, her eyes wide and pupils dilated with desire.

Her body still pressed against his, she reaches up and starts gently running her hands through his hair, a gesture so tender and intimate it brings him to near tears.

“I want you to fuck me tonight, Cassian,” she says on a whisper.  She begins playing with the fine hairs at the nape of his neck, raising gooseflesh all along his shoulders.  His eyes flutter closed.  “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

 _God_ , he’s wanted her too.  He’s wanted her more than anything, almost since the moment he met her.  But they can’t do this.  Being intimate with Jyn tonight will serve to destroy him later, when he’s gone.

But in the end, he’s not strong enough to say no.  “All right,” he hears himself say, nodding his assent.   “Yes.”

“Let’s go to my bunk,” she whispers, before tracing the outer shell of his ear with the tip of her tongue.  He shivers and tightens his hold on her. “It’s farther from the war room than yours.  That way, if we make any noise…”

Cassian nods in wordless agreement and tilts his chin to capture her mouth in another searing kiss.

 

oOoOoOo

 

Despite Cassian’s initial hesitancy, once Jyn gets him away from the others they practically run to her bunk, nearly tripping over their feet in their haste. 

When they arrive, Cassian can’t get her door open.  His hands shake as he fumbles with the knob, making the whole door rattle in its frame. 

Jyn is little more than a bundle of nervous energy herself, but she places her hands over his and gives them what she hopes is a reassuring squeeze. She leans up on tiptoe and kisses his stubbled cheek. 

Cassian laughs a little, clearly nervous.  He closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, shaking his head as if to clear it.

After another long moment he finally manages to turn the doorknob, her hands still splayed over his. Together, they step into her small room.

Once inside, and without warning, Cassian whisks Jyn off the ground, as though tonight were their wedding night and this the threshold to their new home, and cradles her in his arms.  He presses his lips to hers and kisses her like he’ll never be able to get enough of kissing her, making her heart pound in her chest and her knees weak.

Without breaking the kiss Cassian walks them both, very slowly, towards her small cot. By the time he lays her down upon it Jyn feels about to burst out of her skin with anticipation.  She can’t lie still, and she fidgets with her hands, her clothes, the thin cotton blanket, as she watches him stand there, watching her. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Cassian murmurs so quietly it’s as though he’s speaking to himself and not to her.  He sits next to her on the cot and takes her hands in his.  He gently traces the lines of her palm with an index finger, tickling her a little and making her giggle.

Smiling himself, Cassian lifts her hand to his mouth and gently kisses the back of it before pressing its palm to his cheek.  He leans into her touch, humming a little and closing his eyes.

When he opens them again the look he gives her fans the flicker of desire that’s been pooling in her belly all night into a blaze. 

Slowly, Jyn sits up.  Without breaking eye contact she quickly removes her shirt, tossing it to the floor.  He’s still looking into her eyes as she undoes her bra and pushes the straps off her shoulders. 

She has to bite the inside of her bottom lip to keep from laughing at the terrified look on his face.

“Cassian,” she whispers, cupping his face in both hands.  She kisses one corner of his mouth, the tip of his nose, each cheek.  He’s trembling.  “You can look at me.  I  _want_  you to look at me.”

He blinks several times and then, permission granted, his brown eyes dart downward.  To her relief, he sighs with pleasure when he sees her breasts.  Jyn reaches for his hands, bringing them to her chest and covering her small breasts with them.

“Oh, god,” he whispers, as her nipples pebble up against his palms, just before she leans forward and crushes her mouth to his.

Everything happens quickly after that.  In an instant she’s straddling his lap, rubbing against him as he massages her breasts with his large, calloused hands.  Any doubts she might have had about Cassian’s prior experience vanishes as he leans forward and expertly takes first one nipple, and then the other, into his mouth, biting and sucking at her until she’s nothing but a maelstrom of need.

As he continues to lavish attention on her breasts she reaches down and tugs on the bottom hem of his shirt, desperate, suddenly, to feel his bare chest against hers, but unable to focus on much of anything but the sensations coursing through her.  He seems to understand her intent well enough and fluidly tears off his shirt, throwing it to the floor.  He resumes his ministrations a half heartbeat later, and she throws back her head and keens unintelligibly, grabbing the back of his head and pressing him to her, feeling like she might die if he stopped.

A moment later she’s on her back, and he’s fumbling with her belt and the button of her pants.  She tries to help him but he lightly slaps her hands away, and so she lies back, arms folded, admiring the broad planes of his chest as he moves.

When at last they are bare before each other, Cassian pauses.  He sits back again on his heels and drinks in her body with hungry eyes.

“Jyn,” he murmurs as he takes in every inch of her.  He gently runs his fingertips along her curves, under the swell of her breasts, down and along her hips and thighs, as though trying to commit the landscape of her body to memory.  The gentle scrape of his fingernails along her sensitive skin makes her shiver.  “You are so beautiful,” he says, his voice wavering a little.  He swallows audibly, his eyes glassy.  “And I just… I can’t believe we’re here.”

Jyn doesn’t say anything, not trusting her own voice to be steady.  She gives him a small smile instead, and reaches out to take him in her hand. 

She wraps her hand around his length and thrills at his sharp intake of breath.  Smiling slyly and looking into his eyes, she slides her hand back and forth, very slowly, again and again, reveling in the feel and the weight of him in her palm.  His closes his eyes and bites his lip, groaning softly, as she continues to work him, taking her own physical pleasure from the pleasured sounds he’s making.

When she brings him, at last, towards the juncture between her thighs, he slides into her in one fluid motion and all conversation ends.

Jyn has been with men before.  But she never knew it could be like _this_.  As Cassian moves inside her, and as she reflexively matches his thrusts with movements of her own, her soul feels full fit to bursting in a way that’s entirely new.

She wraps her legs around his slender waist as he moves, changing the angle slightly and wrenching an indelicate moan from him.  The incoherent sound of his pleasure inflames her, and she begins to speed up the movements of her hips without intending to as she pushes back against him again, and again.

He leans forward, grabbing a shelf above her cot for leverage.  With a grunt he sucks her nipple into his mouth and swirls his tongue around and around the tender pink bud.  The added sensation is too much for her.  She closes her eyes and she cries out, throwing her head back against the pleasure that’s cresting inside of her.

“Cassian” she begs, breathlessly.  “Please…”

Wasting no time, Cassian snakes one hand down to where they are joined and begins circling the spot where she needs him the most with delicate, purposeful strokes.  The universe contracts until there is nothing but the feeling of his body moving inside her, his fingertips against her core, and she shatters, shouting his name.

 

oOoOoOo

 

It’s well after dawn when Jyn wakes again, flush with pleasure and nestled comfortably in Cassian’s arms.

She rolls over a little, towards him, and sees he’s already awake.  He’s looking at her with such tenderness and sorrow in his eyes it breaks her heart.

She cups his face in her hands.

“Don’t go,” she tells him.  She burrows closer into his side.  “Stay with us.  With me.   Don’t leave.”

He closes his eyes.

“Jyn…” he says, sounding pained.  “My orders are what they are.  I have to go.”

“No.  You don’t,” she insists.  She rolls him onto his back and lies atop him, her breasts pressing into his chest.  She places her hands on either side of him to steady herself.  “This mission is stupid.  You know it is.  You need to  _stay_.”  She swallows.  Closes her eyes.  “You said you’d always stay.”

He gently rolls her onto her side and pushes back her thin blanket so he can climb out of bed.  He’s still naked, and in spite of herself she can’t help but admire his bare backside as he walks to the bureau.  He begins to dress, very slowly, his back to her.

“I have my orders, Jyn,” he says again, his voice devoid of emotion.  “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“Cassian –“

He looks at her, and shakes his head.  “May the Force be with you., Jyn.  Always.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add an extra chapter to the end of this story. An epilogue, of sorts. So there will be one additional chapter after this one.
> 
> This is the second time I've tried to post this chapter today. AO3 has been giving me (and others, I think) fits. Apologies for any email/tag spam.

Cassian is so exhausted from the events of the past several days it takes nearly a full minute of Jyn’s concerted efforts to wake him.

“Cassian,” she murmurs into his ear, shaking him gently.  She tousles his hair.  “Wake up.”

At length, he eventually blinks open his eyes.  He looks up at her face, smiling sleepily, before letting his eyes slowly roam down her bare torso.

“Mm,” he breathes, his smile growing.  He wraps his arms around her and buries his face in her chest.  He sighs happily.  “Good morning.”

As much as she loves this sort of early morning intimacy – as much as she missed it while he was gone these past two weeks – there’s no time for it right now.  Reluctantly, but with deliberate purpose, she pushes him away.

“Hey!” he complains, pouting.  “I was comfortable.”

 _God_ ,  _he’s adorable_ , Jyn thinks to herself.  

He knows it, too.

Jyn kisses his forehead. “I know you were,” she says.  She kisses his lips briefly, and then pulls back a moment later, laughing, when he leans in for more.  She doesn’t want to refuse him; she’s missed him so much.  But they don’t have a choice.  “Unfortunately, though, you gotta get up.  We both do.”  

“No, we don’t,” he whines, closing his eyes.  “I just got back from yet another mission where I very nearly died.  It was a truly exhausting experience. Very tragic.  We should stay here.  In bed.”  He holds her close.  “And cuddle more.”

She smiles at him, then, her heart so full of affection and tentative hope it’s almost more than she can bear.  “Cassian, listen.  We just got a message.  There’s news from Endor.”

At this, Cassian snaps fully awake, all teasing playfulness gone.  His eyes go wide as saucers. “News?  What kind of news?”

“I don’t know,” she says.  “They didn’t say.  I didn’t want to wake you but… but there’s an emergency meeting in the war room in ten minutes.  We need to be there.”  She swallows.  “Everyone does.”

That’s all he needs to hear.  “Right,” he says, climbing out of bed.  He dresses quickly, hands shaking so badly Jyn wonders if he suspects, as she does, that they’re about to finally get the news they’ve been waiting their whole lives to hear.

 

oOoOoOo

 

The meeting is already underway by the time Jyn and Cassian arrive, as indicated by Ackbar’s holo displayed on the room’s single large screen.  Everyone in attendance is paying rapt attention to his message as Jyn and Cassian quietly find seats in the back. 

From the looks on everyone’s faces it appears Ackbar has already been speaking for some time.  Fortunately, Jyn and Cassian still manage to catch the most important part. 

“And finally, I have some excellent news to share,” Ackbar says. “I have just spoken with General Solo. He tells us Luke Skywalker has defeated both the Emperor and Lord Vader.  The last soldiers loyal to the Empire are in the process of surrendering to our troops all across the galaxy as I speak.”  Ackbar smiles at them, then. The strange little man has never looked so happy.  “Men and women of the Rebellion, it is my great honor to inform you that at long, long last, our fight is over and the Empire has been destroyed!”

Jyn is so stunned by Ackbar’s announcement, and by the deafening cheer that goes up all around them at his words, that she doesn’t notice, at first, when Cassian takes her hand.  When he gives it a gentle squeeze, however, she comes back to herself. 

She turns from the holo to face him.  He’s smiling.

As they look at each other wordlessly, Jyn’s mind travels back over her time with this ragtag group of fighters who, despite her best efforts, eventually became dear friends.  

And she thinks, of course, of Cassian – her closest friend; her lover.  She thinks about how, given the dangerous nature of what they do, she’s never known from one day to the next whether a tender moment with him might be their last.

No matter how many times he’s promised her he would always come back to her she’s never let herself believe it. Not really. Not completely.  How could she?  Nothing’s ever certain in this world.  Her mother, her father, Saw – everyone leaves her in the end.  Everyone dies.  By this point she’s kissed Cassian goodbye before countless dangerous missions – and sometimes, as it was the first time they made love, it’s been with the firm belief that the next time they were together one of them would likely be dead. 

Of necessity she’s kept a part of herself tucked away ever since she lost her parents.  Walled off.  Even from Cassian.  But does this news change everything?   Not just for the galaxy, but for her too?  Does she no longer need to live in constant fear that at any moment, everyone who means anything to her will disappear?

More importantly: does she know how to live any other way?

“Cassian,” she says tentatively, when Ackbar’s speech is finally over, and as the people around them continue to cheer and shout and clutch at each other tearfully.  “Is it over?  Is it… really over?  All of it?”  She doesn’t know if she has it within herself to believe it.

Cassian beams at her by way of response, his smile brighter than any star.

“Yeah,” he says slowly.  He nods.  “I think it’s over.”

She squeezes his hand.  “What comes next?” she asks.  Because she has no idea.  Her earliest memories are of running, hiding, and fighting.  She’s never known anything else.

Then again, neither has Cassian.  In fact, he’s had an even harder life.  He joined the Rebellion at an age when she was still being cared for by her parents.  What comes next for a man who finally has what he’s been fighting for his entire life?

“What comes next?” she asks again, tears beginning to prick the backs of her eyes, when he doesn’t answer her right away.

Cassian sighs.  He rubs his neck.  “I’m… not sure what comes next,” he admits.  He leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to her cheek.  “There’ll still be isolated skirmishes here and there that we’ll need to clean up.  And there’ll be a lot rebuilding, and retraining soldiers for civilian life.  And then, after all that…”  He trails off, scratching his chin.  “I guess I don’t know.  I’ve never really let myself imagine a future that had me in it.”  He laughs, but there’s no humor in it.

Jyn nods.  “I get it,” she says.  She never has, either.

Cassian looks away from her, his eyes darting down to the tops of his boots.  “I may not know what comes next, Jyn.  But… well…”  He breaks off, his bright brown eyes wide and hopeful.  “Do you trust me enough to figure out what comes next, with me?”  He takes a step closer to her.  “The two of us, together?”

Jyn isn’t sure of very much in this universe.  She never has been.  Fortunately, this is one question for which she has a ready answer.

“Yes,” she tells him, squeezing his hand.  “I do.”

And she does.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to find me on tumblr, where I flail about rebelcaptain, fandom shenanigans, men I think are cute/hot/etc., and other things that make me happy, I'm there as jeeno2. :)


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. :)

Even though the war has been over for years, Cassian is still hard-wired to spring into immediate action at the sound of Jyn screaming.

There is little cause for either of them to scream anymore.  Thank the gods for that.  They both still have nightmares – of stormtroopers and planet-killing weapons.  Of Scarif.  He doubts those will ever leave them completely.  But aside from the night terrors that still plague them their lives are far easier than he ever dared dream they might be during the long, horrible time that came before peace.

Cassian’s fight-or-flight reflex, however – honed to a knife-sharp edge out of decades of necessity – is still there.  Simmering just below the surface.   

Never has he found it a more useless thing than he does now, as he listens, helplessly, to Jyn shouting and screaming with pain from their bedroom.

He shouldbe in there with her, right now, to help her through this.  This whole situation, of course, is as much his doing as hers.  But ever the soldier, Cassian’s never quite understood how to handle problems that can’t be easily solved with the help of a good blaster.  Like an idiot, he began to panic as soon as things began to progress, pacing the floor and punching the walls of their bedroom and throwing things in an impotent rage every time Jyn so much as winced in pain.  

In the end, the medic suggested it might be in everyone’s best interest that Cassian leave the room and wait to be summoned.

The two assistants in the room had had to physically restrain him at the suggestion to keep him from assaulting the medic.  But in the end, Jyn shot him a look telling him, in no uncertain terms, that she _wanted_  him to leave.  And so he left, terrified, fuming, his nerves in a raw tangle.

It’s almost dawn when the nurse finally comes to fetch him again.  His hair is a wreck from having pulled on it all night, and he’s practically worn a groove in the floor of their hut from his frenetic pacing.  He blinks at the nurse once, and then again, when she tells him the baby is here, before bolting from the room and into their small bedroom to meet their daughter.

oOoOoOoO

Jyn can see, right away, that the baby is her own mother’s spitting image – all brown hair and bright eyes and an expression so outraged, so _indignant_ , it’s all Jyn can do not to fall to the floor in helpless gratitude.

“Jyn.”

Jyn looks up from their child’s small, bundled form, to find Cassian, standing at the door like a terrified fool, eyes wide and nervous and hands clenched into tight fists at his sides.  His voice is hoarse from all the shouting and carrying on he did last night while she, in this bed, did all the actual work.

She’d almost be angry with him, really, for having to be carted out of here like a crazed animal.  But she knows he has his own demons, just as she will always have hers.  And it’s not as though he really could have done anything, anyway, even if he’d been here. 

So instead of giving him the lecture she composed in her head while she was writhing and screaming in pain, she just nods.

Cassian swallows. “ Is everything…?”  He trails off.  Takes a deep breath. “The medic said everything was fine, but…?”  

 _I won’t believe you are all right until I hear it from you_ , his eyes tell her.

Before answering him, Jyn cradles their child closer.  She looks down at her. And then, for just a moment, the baby tiny eyelids flutter open.  In the length of time it takes a single heart to beat two times, Jyn shares a look with their daughter that’s so intimate – so private; so meant for just the two of them – that it feels, just for a moment, rather like they are co-conspirators to a plot only the two of them are meant to know and understand.  

Jyn’s heart clenches in her chest at the swell of emotion that rises up in her. And then, just like that, their baby’s eyes close again, and the moment passes.

She looks back to Cassian.  Her foolish, brave, incredible husband, who sacrificed so much and has asked for so little in return. “Everything’s fine,” she tells him.  She manages a crooked, tired smile.  “We’re okay.”   

Cassian’s face breaks into a grin so wide it looks like like it will split in two.  He breathes a sigh of enormous relief.  “Good,” he says.  He takes a tentative step towards the bed, and then another.  

Jyn pats the space next to her, wordlessly inviting him to join them.  He climbs into bed beside them both and gently, carefully, gathers mother and child into his arms.  

“Good.  That’s… that’s so good, Jyn.”

Jyn sighs, and snuggles close to his side, before drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

oOoOoOoO

They name her Lyra, for Jyn’s mother.

As they raise her, Cassian and Jyn vow to each other, and to their child, that the sacrifices of the brave men and women who died so the galaxy could have peace will not be in vain.  And will always be remembered.

A new chapter, at last, has begun.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to find me on tumblr, where I flail about rebelcaptain, fandom shenanigans, men I think are cute/hot/etc., and other things that make me happy, I'm there as jeeno2. :)


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